Sky Fall

Sky Fall

Please don’t see this as a blog. See it as an ‘Open Letter’. I truly believe Open Letters are the way to rescuing this beautiful, savage sport.

I awoke early this morning – a stunning quality of light shone through the gap in my curtains and I opened my eyes to find myself in a state that I can only describe as '‘tranquilo'’. The sunlight moved over my sleeping wifes breasts as gently as a lamb sniffing a daisy.

I slipped into my silk kimono and went to the front door to see if the paperboy had been. I faltered as I saw the headline staring back at me – Sean Yates dismissed from Team Sky. My sport again on the front pages for all the wrong reasons. Tears started to flow and quickly soaked my kimono. I was a mess.

I gathered myself, as this is the only way forward for the sport no matter how painful it is. I put two slices of bread in the toaster and went to have a poo.

The loneliness of sitting on the toilet was almost too much. I cleaned up, ate my toast and prepared to get out on the bike. The sound of the click as I slipped my feet into the pedals was like a weight lifting off my shoulders. At one with the bike, I realised just why I feel so passionately about cleaning up this sport. I cycled all the way to Waitrose. Whilst I was browsing the various Olive Oils, I overheard two members of staff discussing just about everything aspect of their work – their manager, colleagues, grievances etc. Tears welled in my eyes at the openness of their conversations – there was no Omerta here. Why couldn’t cycling be more like this? I called up Pat McQuaid to try to reason with him. It was Sunday morning though and no one was home in Aigle.

My passion rekindled, I cycled home with over £300 worth of Olive Oil. 6km into a block headwind. It was hideous but I coped knowing that, with the shopping dangling from my bars, that I would eat well that night.